1954 Motorola Portable Radios

The most notable thing about this ad is that its focus is clearly on the colors in which they’re available: dove Gray, Leaf Green, Cherry Red, Mocha, Clover Pink, Azure Blue, Black, Grass Green, Middy Blue, Flame, Hot Chocolate and Maroon.

Digging deep into the fine print we find technical features but on the surface, it’s all about exterior aesthetics.

From Classic Ads – Music Equipment

Looking past the rainbow, these units boast “instant warm-up” (when’s the last time you waited for any electrical appliance to “warm up”?) and instant switch from AC to DC. Two things that have passed entirely from our collective consumer consciousness.

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Starlog Magazine – February 1983 or a Nerdgasm of 30 years Past

My general rule for ads is to never bother with any ads younger than I am. As the years pass this becomes a sad and increasingly restrictive rule. Today, however, we revisit the year 1983 and Starlog magazine, a publication devoted to computers, video games and scifi. Let’s skip over the silliness of David Hassellhoff and the Knight 2000, Jon Pertwee’s return to Doctor Who and other random drivel so that we can focus on the best part: The Adverts!

I don’t know about you but I’d give… practically nothing for a Admiral Ackbar full-face latex mask. It’s surprising to me that the instructions specify that customers should send cash in the mail. Also, one wonders how many of these remain Mint-In-Box even today waiting for some lucky kid to crack them open and wear them around the yard… before getting beaten up by a few neighborhood bullies with poor appreciation for nerdy pursuits like “recreating your favorite character’s most adventurous moments” as the text says.

From Classic Ads – Misc

And, just in case the mask didn’t get your ass beat for you, you can order a “Warrior’s Battle Outfit.” These guys really have it in for their customers. The text suggests that “you can wear your Battle Warrior outfit to school, parties or anywhere! It’s fun to dress in space fashion. The whole family can dress in Warrior’s Battle outfits.” Again, anywhere that you want to get your ass thoroughly beaten with your own “Warrior’s Battlepac”

From Classic Ads – Misc

And no 80’s magazine ad would be complete without mention of the Atari game system.
Get ready for the space battle of your life with the award-winning Astro Chase!” Enjoy those “fast-fighting thrills and brilliant graphics!”

From Classic Ads – Misc

1920 Victrola – His Master’s Voice

For decades and decades that poor dog stuck his little snout into the bell of that Victrola. I’m willing to say that he’s probably stone deaf after all that noise at such close range.

1920 Victrola

Perusing these ads, Caruso is mentioned again and again. I wonder how many people in 2012 know who he was? Such is the fleeting light of fame. 90 years to anonymity.

Popeye the Movie – It yis what it yis. [1980]

Today’s ad from the dim and misty past comes with an embarrassing personal anecdote. People always talk about the first bit of recorded music they bought as a child. I’ve heard Bob Marley, REO Speedwagon, The Monkees, or even Bing Crosby (from the older set). The first music you actually bothered to spend money on as a child can say a lot about you. I, sadly, am always forced to admit that the fist music I bought on purpose was the sound-track to this movie. It was 99 cents at Woolworths and I bought it proudly home when I was apparently not old enough to know any better. Interestingly, I’m fairly certain that I hadn’t actually seen the movie.

Popeye - 1980

I don’t think I need to point out that this movie was NOT the entertainment event of the season. I must admit though… pretty good music.

They’re on a Mission from God – The Blues Brothers [1980]

Coming June 20th to a Theatre near you, The Blues Brothers! Rated R, I’m always amused to note because of some profanity. I wonder what rating it would earn in today’s profanity-filled world?

The Blues Brothers

In a few words though, best movie EVER and music to die for.