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Popular Science – June 1971

Greetings!  Today’s blast from the past comes to us courtesy of Popular Science in the early 70s.  It’s interesting to me to see what the ads in a publication say about the people who read it.  In this case, it’s clear that the subscribers are all of the male gender. Very male. Almost impossibly male. And they like to smoke and drink beer and drive stuff. And do things! Manly things!

As a general rule, I don’t post ads for cigarettes but this one really struck my eye. For the man who likes to smoke and doesn’t mind an 8-step process to put his smokes together I give you Laredo filter blend. It comes with a handy plastic cigarette-making machine and the pricing works out to about $.20 per pack. That’s about $1 in today’s money adjusted for inflation.

From Classic Ads – Misc

What continues to strike me about Jeep ads even from ages ago is that they haven’t changed one iota. Not a bit. This one is blasted 40 years old and it reads like an ad from today. It’s a vehicle with guts and with the same ad guys it had in the 70s.

From Classic Ads – Automotive

PopSci was also rife with ads for career improvement. Apparently readers fancied themselves clever enough to move up in the world but they just lacked the training. La Salle Extension university offers everything from a High School diploma to diesel mechanics all from the comfort of your home. I’m amused that they have -one- class in computer programming and it’s just ‘basic training.’ The gals get a separate set of options all the way to the right. No female diesel mechanics in these days, I guess. They could be accountants or dental assistants or secretaries.

From Classic Ads – Misc

Not looking to be an accountant or clean teeth? How about the Cleveland Institute of Electronics? Tell off your boss today! Learn how in handy comic-book form!

From Classic Ads – Misc

Circuits not your cup of tea? Well heck. Just join the Army. There’s just no satisfying some people!

From Classic Ads – Misc

Switching gears dramatically, the car ads of course made themselves known as they always do. Those readers who already have a job will need a way to get there. Why not try the Ford Pinto? It boasts 25 mpg and a 75 HP motor. Based on the ad text it’s really trying to compete with the VW bug to which it compares itself and based on the ad photo a half-eaten apple is better than a bug any day.

From Classic Ads – Automotive

Forget the Pinto though, you should hear what they’re saying about the Chevy Vega!

From Classic Ads – Automotive

Feeling like a car is too much responsibility? How about the Yamaha 650 XS-1B?

From Classic Ads – Automotive

Is even a motorcycle too much responsibility? Prefer to motor manfully over the snow or sand dunes rather than the city streets? Try the Honda All-Terrain Cycle. Sure it looks like something Bozo the Clown would ride but that’s OK. It takes on those sand dunes like a champ and doesn’t require a driver’s license in the event you somehow got enough DUIs to lose it back in 1971.

From Classic Ads – Automotive

And when you’re done finding a job and driving around all day has left you thirsty, kick back and relax with a Schlitz. Because nothing tastes more like Schlitz than a Schlitz.

From Classic Ads – Food And Drink

And remember when you’re out of Schlitz, you’re out of beer.  And you’re probably tan, and on a fishing boat.

Advertisement

Early 70s Fashion Free-for-all

It’s almost too easy to take pot-shots at seventy’s fashions but I’ll do it anyway. Imagine, if you will, a world in which it’s cool to wear all-denim outfits. Is this what you imagined?

1973 Denim Live-Ins

One one hand, I regret that male fashions have become so drab and plastic. On the other hand, I can’t help but think that if THIS is what male self-expression in the area of fashion looks like then maybe we’re better off being drab?

1973 Sears Shirts

And who approved these color choices?

1972 Sears Slacks

And the shoes are to die for. Or… well, at least you’ll want to die.

1973 Johnston and Murphy

Studyboppers Delight – 1970s Smith-Corona Typewriters

It’s hard to believe that in some of our lifetimes a typewriter was considered a great college study aid. It’s to tiny it can fit easily on the lap of that girl in that little tiny skirt!

1970s Smith-Corona Typewriters

Truth be told though, I recall with great clarify getting a typewriter as a child. I was determined to retype the entire encyclopedia. To this day I know far too much about Aardvarks, Aardwolves and Acacia. That was 1970-something and when electrics came around it quite an improvement even for us young “studyboppers” as the ad so eloquently calls them.

In just seven days I can make you a man – 1960’s Charles Atlas

’tis true, Rocky Horror didn’t just make it up. In seven short days Charles Atlas (or Angelo Siciliano to his friends) can make you a new man with his “Dynamic Tension” workout system.

1970s Charles Atlas

Everything I needed to know about exercise I learned from musical theatre.

Star Wars Promo – 1978 TEAC Tape Decks

With the purchase of any TEAC open reel tape recorder, we’ll give you a commemorative set of Star Wars tapes! These specially packaged open reel tapes are a limited edition and are not for sale anywhere. They include the music, sound effects and narration from the film. Your TEAC dealer has all the details but the offer expires April 30, 1978! Oh. Sorry. Guess we missed that great offer.

1978 TEAC Tape Decks - Star Wars Promo

I recall that my dear old papa had a reel-to-reel tape deck when I was a wee lad. I must admit that as tape machines go, they certainly did give one the sense of awesome professionalism in a way that cassette tapes just could not touch. Though I daresay they wouldn’t stand a chance if they were really under attack by those x-wing fighters. I’ll bet Vader had a TEAC.

Reach out and Touch Someone – Bell System [1979]

Well here it is the day before Christmas and I don’t know about you but to me nothing says “Holidays” like creepy clowns making long-distance phone calls. So harken back to the days when phones had cords and slogans like “Reach out and Touch Someone” didn’t have really uncomfortable subtexts.

 

Reach out and Touch Someone (Click to view or download full-size)

You’re out of cash. And out of town. Master Charge [1973]

It’s hard to imagine, I suspect, a time when you couldn’t just wave a bit of plastic at Wal-Mart and they’d give you anything in the store.  This 1973 ad for Master Charge is a relic of a by-gone era…

1973 Master Charge

Ad Text:

Relax – You’ve got Master Charge
Vacation? Business trip? Whenever you travel, and you need money, you can get it with your Master Charge card. it’s good for cash at over 14,000 banking offices across the U.S. And, if you like, you can stretch out your payments.

It’s amazing to think that today there are probably 14,000 places in Indiana alone that will take my Visa card.  What a long way we’ve come in almost 40 years.  OK.  Fine.  It’s not all that impressive progress… but it is progress… or IS it….?

Change the way your hair looks. Without cutting it. Brylcreem [1973]

Sometimes I like to post these and try to add a bit of random dry humor just to spice things up a bit. This time (and if you’re lucky, many times to follow) I’m not really feeling like I need to say much of anything. The early-70s hair stylings really do speak for themselves.

1973 Brylcreem

Ad Text:

Side Part
Side hair is groomed under and towards your cheek. Top hair goes to the side then back away from your face. If your hair has a mind of its own, use a spray of Brylcreem Soft Hair Dry Spray with Protein before you start blow-drying. It does two important things for longer hair: conditions and controls. Spray it on, then massage it into your hair and scalp. The protein penetrates your hair shafts, helping to protect your hair from the parching effect of blow-drying. And the styling control of Soft Hair will help you get your hair going where you want it. And keep it there.

No Part
If you can’t be bothered with blow-drying or you’d like to look more mature, try this. Spray your towel-dried hair with Soft Hair Dry Spray with Protein and massage it in. This puts styling control where you need it: down deep in your hair. Then, with your brush, groom all your hair straight back against your head. You’ve got a forehead again. Earlobes too. Flip the hair at your neck out and up. Use the brush at the crown to lift your hair and turn it under. This gives a little extra height where you may need it. Another spritz of Soft Hair where your natural part may be trying to appear will help prevent it from doing so.

Center Part
The last time you parted your hair on the side it either fell in your food or made you look lopsided. Try a center part instead. With your hot-comb or blow-dryer, turn your hair forward and under on either side of the part. Starting from the part, your hair should go away from your forehead, towards your cheek and back to your ear. An S-shape. This makes your hair flip out at the bottom. From the end of the part down the back of your head all hair goes up and under for fullness. At the very bottom make the ends flip by turning them up. And don’t forget Soft Hair Dry Spray with Protein. Its conditioners will counteract the effects of a hot-come or blow-dryer. And it’ll control your hair while keeping it healthy-looking. After all, if your hair is dull and dried out, all the styling in the world won’t help the way you look. That’s why, no matter what style you decide on, we’ve got a product that will help you.

Alright, all that fun out of the way, would any of you gals out there date a man with such a do? Clearly it worked for guys at one point but the style of this bygone era is simply too befuddling to behold.

Further, I get the sense that during the third section there that describes the ‘Center Part’ they got to the end of the instructions and realized suddenly that they’d forgotten to actually sell the product. The bit about “Soft Hair Dry Spray with Protein” (or SHaDSP for short) seems tacked on as if the writer just came to the realization after crafting his text that “oh shit! I still have a product I need to sell!” So lost in his textual reverie that he forgot the whole meaning of his writerly existence.

Levi’s Panatela Slacks – not $lacks [1973]

Today’s post makes me absolutely weep with nostalgia. I yearn so much to go back to the days when the clothes featured in this ad were not only acceptable but in fact in vogue. Now that you’ve had your monthly dose of sarcasm, I bring you Panatela Slacks.

1973 Levi's Panatela Slacks

Ad Text:

The people who’ve been selling you slacks have been pulling your leg. They would have you believe that a fine pair of slacks always carries a fine price tag. “Fine slacks,” they intone, “show meticulous – and therefore expensive – attention to detail. Pockets lie flat. Patterns match nicely at the seams. Proper stitches are in their proper places. And the rich fabric drapes comfortably on the human form.”

We agree. And we don’t agree. You can certainly tell a fine pair of slacks by how well they’re made. But not by how much they cost! Levi’s Pantela Slacks are priced on a trifle above your average work-around-the-yard pants. Which puts their price six triples below your average work-around-the-office pants.

Yet despite their sensible cost (around $12 to $22, instead of $30 to heaven knows what), the economy of Levi’s Panatela Slacks is noticeable only to your wallet.

Upon close examination, one sees that pockets lie flat; patterns match; stitches are perfect; and the fabric drapes comfortably, naturally and handsomely on your human form. Sometime soon, visit a men’s store and try on a pair of Panatela Slacks. See if you can tell any difference between our Slacks and their $lacks. Other than the $. We’re all but certain that you’ll walk out owning a pair of Panatela Slacks. Because legs were made to be fitted. Not pulled.

Putting aside the absolute atrocity of the product being sold here by today’s standards of fashion, the text of this ad strikes me very favorably. It’s articulate and detailed and fairly convincing. Not to mention, I dig anything that a guy with a mustache like that wants to sell me.

PS: I can’t deny that those slacks with the dollar bills on them really rock my world. I wonder if they come in that king of fabrics, polyester. Wow!